Musings of the Obsessive Kind

OMFG, so addicting! I know now why I am so addicted to this show - it's basically as if someone took a fanfic, with all the delicious fanfic tropes and unashamed exhibitionism and concentrated emotions, and actually filmed it. I am wallowing in it. Wallowing.

It's disorienting watching Andy Whitfield be so gorgeous and so full of vitality as Spartacus while knowing what happened to him. But his intensity is knocking it out of the park. He's amazing. And he portrays banked but unending anger and determination, as well as his grief and a heartbreaking bewilderment at what has happened to him and his near and dear so well - I find myself actively yearning for Spartacus to burn Rome to the ground.

I am shipping Spartacus and Sura quite desperately, because they are gorgeous and hot together, and they kill enemies together, and generally remind me of those romance novels I occasionally like. Plus, I am all about our hero being madly and passionately in love with his wife. I mean, he tells her: "There is no life without you." My heart! Only I am pretty sure this is one love story that is not getting a happy ending.

Ahhh, Team Evil, I look forward to your deaths!

I may or may not have screamed "in your face, Glaber!" at this.

The episode flew by - I was so engrossed that I was surprised when I realized it was over. It's late but otherwise I'd marathon like mad. Sooooo good, you guys, so good! You totally must watch.

In an odd timing, considering the stunning discovery of Richard III's remains, apparently BBC is adapting Philippa Gregory's The White Queen into a miniseries. It's all about Elizabeth Woodville, Edward IV's scandalous wife.

I hate hate hate Gregory, and I don't think she could write either a high quality or historically appropriate book if her life depended on it. And anyone who wants to present Elizabeth Woodville, smart and gorgeous as she was, as a some sort of aspirational romantic heroine is nuts. BUT!

It's about the War of the Roses! From the Yorkist side! And has pretty people and costumes and is going to give me Edward IV! And Richard III and the Nevilles (Anne Neville OMG!) and maybe I'll be lucky and they won't do the 'Richard III monster who ate children for snack and bathed in the blood of puppies' nonsense. (I think you can guess I am rather a Ricardian).

Plus, I never thought I'd ever say it, but Edward and Elizabeth look gorgeous together:

I think I just might RPShip.

So, I am currently reading The Darkest Seduction and it is so trashy yet so so so utterly perfect for me!!!

Hero: warrior for the good guys (sort of) posessed by the demon of lust (literally - long story) who:

(1) needs to have sex on a regular specified basis to survive. And can only have sex with the same person once - repeats not allowed. So basically no relationships ever. Oh, and everybody wants him.
(2) Is former drug addict due to issues arising from (1).
(3) Has major rage issues due to (1), (2), (4), (5), (6)
(4) His OTP was a Hunter (human who hunts demon-posessed beings), who captured him for torture and experimentation (someone's been hanging out with Kresley Cole) but who ended up being totally attracted to him and vice-versa (I mean, on more than 'I need to have sex because your pheromones appeal to me/to live' level). And they had some truly dysfunctional sex during his captivity (as in she did it to keep him alive and he let her so as to live even though he hated it only not really).
(5) She got killed by those who were chasing him when he escaped capture and took her with him, sorta-revived by bad guys and now is posessed by a demon of her own.
(6) And he is trying to rescue her/bring her back, except he is not sure if he wants to chain her up or love her forever.
(7) She feels horribly sorry about the torture/capture stuff and is still drawn to him. Oh, and he may be able to do stuff with her more than once. Though that still doesn't solve the whole 'if I am away from her for more than X, I'd need to cheat on her and have sex with someone else, or die' issue.
(8) Hero revels in being a target of h/c the way others do in candy.

Short version: if angst was currency, hero would be Bill Gates.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA PERFECT PERFECT RIDICULOUSLY PERFECT STUFF FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY ID.

People are complaining that this is (a) a doorstopper and (b) has a lot of non-OTP stuff going with mythology in general and other characters, but (a) and (b) make me love it even more.

I realize that pretty much nobody on my flist cares about these, but nothing is stopping my obsession.

I am beginning to think that the Romans deserve a rebellion not for murdering and conquering, but as a punishment for hair-related crimes. Due to my love of PJ's Tolkien adaptations, I have developed a fondness for longish hair/scruff look (call it The Aragorn) but the evil Romans keep depriving me! At least they let Crixus keep his 'do/beard until the end of Gods of the Arena, but I got barely an episode of Spartacus' take on the same until the evil Romans had his hair cut and shaved him. Booooo!

I approve of Spartacus' fantasies of his wife because that way I get my ship, and also get the whole chained make-outs thing, which is ridiculously hot.

I don't think Spartacus and Crixus will be braiding friendship bracelets any time soon. (Also, that bath scene featured more male frontal nudity than I've seen in about a decade of other entertainment).

I love the way he looks at his 'masters' - utterly unconquered. And the way he reacts to Oenomaus' whip. You can kill him but you cannot break him. The thing I love the most about this episode is his reaction whenever Oenomaus or Crixus or Team Evil or whoever start going on and on about the glories of being a gladiator - he treats them as if they are brainwashed persons, which they are. I love it. I love it. I love that he doesn't sway and sees this insanity for what it is. Also, by now I am so invested and irrationally attached to him (it must be that overwhelming intensity and that unflinching attitude) that I just want him to total anyone who even looks at him crooked.

That's going to end well. And by 'well,' I mean 'slaughter for all.'

I like Varro! I hope he sticks around! If for no other reason than Spartacus actually smiles around him.

OK, that was rough. I hope Spartacus guts Glaber. When he pretty much begs to give up his life to save his wife and Glaber gloats how he had her gangraped and sold, and throws her ribbon at him - OMFG die die die die die die die haze of rage.

Speaking of rage. The way he looks at Glaber can kill. (I think I love the character so because he just might be the most intense and magnetic protagonist I've seen in a very long time. It's full throttle, all the time).

Even when he is beaten into unconsciousness, he is reaching for her ribbon :(

Batiatus promises him that if he becomes a good little gladiator and treats Batiatus as a master, he will help him reunite with his wife. And there was nothing else that could break Spartacus except for that. Only I just know it is all lies, and Batiatus will never do anything good or kind in his life. But then what choice does Spartacus have? How can he not jump at the slightest hope?

So he does.

Speaking of Team Evil, I realize that they are so evil they would murder a puppy and have on orgy on its remains, but I totally LOLed at the over-the-topness of Batiatus and Lucretia wanting to have sex with each other but deciding it would be too much bother to actually do foreplay to each other until they got turned on enough for intercourse, so they ordered their slaves to get them to that point. Listen, dudes - if you find that turning your SO on is too much bother, maybe you shouldn't be boinking to start with.

OMFG, he is trying to woo her by discussing the skill and mechanics required to decapitate opponents. Her face! Heeee!

I think I will ship them forever.

This doesn't hurt either:

I am so predictable.

Also, evil Lucretia who treats her as furniture and thinks nothing of stripping her in front of people to demonstrate a necklace should die. Please please.

And even though it's the middle of the ep, I am off to bed.

My reward for not going to bed when I said but continuing to watch was getting to ‘let’s coerce my slave into sex’ bits. I mean, who doesn’t love a partner who can’t refuse? After all, he looks soooo delighted.

Give it a break, Lucretia - go sacrifice a toddler or perhaps poison a well instead.

Lorraine Heath, She Tempts the Duke - this is possibly the most ahistorical romance novel I've ever read. Even though set in Victorian times, the heroine gets sent to a Convent (in England! Which takes a Protestant young woman!) for a decade, and the hero and his brothers get sent to a tower by their evil uncle. This would work if the book was set in the 1200s, but it's not. If you can overlook this little bit of WTF, it's actually a decent read, about a hero who returns to claim his birthright from his murdering uncle - hero is scarred (literally) and tough but a good guy, and heroine is his childhood friend and the one who rescued him from death. The book is surprisingly low angst and the OTP is shockingly low-maintenance. I liked that.

Mary Jo Putney, Nowhere Near Respectable - It's funny, I loathe Putney's contemporaries, but am fond of her historicals. This one is a Regency involving evil French spies and assassins, and a heroine (half-Indian sister of a Duke) and hero (owner of a gambling club and illegitimate brother of an aristocrat) who team up to save England. It's a quick light read with very little angst...

Gena Showalter, The Darkest Fire - this novella sets up her Lords of the Underworld series and it's short but sweet and gets points for a truly unusual mileau and leads - the underworld, and a Goddess and the Guardian for the Underworld...

Short version: Pretty awesome episode.

Before I get into the details, let me first say this: I know that the Romans of S:B&S are evil enough to torture a unicorn for fun. They are evil, evil, EVIL! I get it already, show, so how about you knock it off with all the noncon (male and female) sex, please?! I realize that STARZ is required by the US Constitution, the Pope or the Talking Pizza Deity to have sex scenes in every ep, and it's hard for the good guys and gals to have access to partners of their choosing, but you can just show Team Evil getting it on, or Barca and his boyfriend or whatever. I get that the bad guys view slaves as property and rapeyness results from that attitude. Now how about we just hint at it or something from now on? Because it creeps me the fuck out. Kthnks.

OK, on to the ep.

It kills me how determined Spartacus is, once he believes there is a chance to rescue Sura. And I love his constant deep anger, banked and controlled but always there. This is a man who has seen the world at its worst, doesn't believe in the Gods any more, and yet he still keeps going, still keeps his sense of self, bone-deep and unshakeable.

Talking about his wife. When Varro asks him "is she worth this?" He says - "she is worth everything." OMFG.

I seriously ship those two so ridiculously much.

It's lovely how Lucretia's friends are as creepy as she is. Like drawn to like, I suppose.

OK, it's a miracle, but somehow Crixus/Naevia manage to be totally adorable and oddly innocent in the middle of a creepy rapey orgy. I am such a goner for them.

ajsoasjfdktjrituirutiryjttrkhjtrkjkrjr!!!!! OMG, you guys, they are so perfect, I think I am going to die! But he got her a necklace somehow! And he apologizes for trying to woo her by tales of decapitation! And the way he looks at her OMFG and I am seriously dying and melting and words have left me and EEEEE dead dead dead! Nothing good is going to come out of it because slavery, plus he is creepy Lucrezia’s sex toy, but I am going to bask for now!

Here because I love his overwhelming intensity. When he is on screen, I don't look at anyone else.

I really love Varro and his friendship with Spartacus. I am really really hoping Varro survives and gets to reunite with Aurelia.

OTP! OTP! OTP!!!!!

Spartacus asking for mercy, because he wants to survive to save Sura. I know I keep saying it, but it kills me how much and how utterly he loves her.

Yeah.

The sole drawback to this show is that I am unhealthily invested in the characters and horrible things keep happening to them. And no happy ending...I'll settle for a few happy moments, at least.

Have some happiness.

And now, have some insanity and pain.

This pretty much never happens, but this ep maxed out my angst tolerance. If this kept on for more than an ep, I'd have bailed because I couldn't take it. Our protagonist is going insane from all the violence he is doing and that is done to him and probably would be better off dead and...seriously. I think he is officially the most damaged TV protagonist I have ever seen. Yup, even more than Crichton.

I think ep 4 broke me a little - you see Spartacus descend slowly and inexorably into bloody insanity, with hallucinations and nightmares and despair (that nightmare of him finding his wife is horrifying, and he keeps having conversations with her, disassociating from the present), due to the things he is forced to do and that are done to him and it’s horrifying to watch, it’s horrifying to watch how someone so strong is destroyed by pieces - when he asks Batiatus to find his wife in exchange for dying in those pits, I can’t say it broke my heart because that phrase is inadequate to the horror I felt - it is someone who has nothing left and just wants to do his best to save his one precious person with his life, before he dies in the pits or goes so insane he will die before the pits claim him. Even though he knows how unenforceable any promise he will get is - that shows how little belief he has left in the value in his own life or hope. He wants to die not just to save his wife but to stop the pain, and was holding on only to protect her.

Seriously, it gutted me. Thank God for Varro. I am glad this storyline seems to have done, because I don’t think I could have borne more than one ep of this.

Now somebody give Spartacus a nuke - I want him to take these people out. Now.

OK, that was so screwed up, I have no words. Naevia has to stand guard and see Crixus be made to have sex with Lucretia (who seriously freaks me out 10x more than her husband). Hello there, Theater of Supreme Dysfunction! I think my eyes just bugged out of my head. ~~Also, that cannot be good for his back.~~ Plus, Lucretia ended up with Naevia’s necklace. Boooo!!! Clearly compelled regifting is popular with Team Evil.

But this makes me so giddy! Almost as much as Naevia makes Crixus giddy. Even if this is going to end up so badly for them, I can tell.

“You shouldn’t look at me in that way.”
“I try with all my strength not to, but I am weak.”
I think I just may have died.

I ship Crixus/Naevia so much, but every time they are together, I keep freaking out and waiting for the ax of doom to fall on them. I almost wish it already did so I’d stop dreading it. Because while I am sure Batiatus wouldn’t care if Crixus was making out with half his slave women as long as he brought him $$$, if Lucretia found out, being tortured to death would probably be best case scenario for both of them. This show is making me a nervous wreck.

I like Barca and his boyfriend. That means they are doomed. Right? Right? With this show, I am sure everyone I like will end up with a grisly death. Why do I do that to myself.

Evil!

I may have done a fist-pump when Spartacus told Crixus that he doesn’t fight for honor, glory, etc but because he is a slave. I love Spartacus so because he is the only one who doesn’t buy into the false reality that everyone tries so hard to drill into him - he sees the situation for what it is - cruelty, slavery, nothing honorable about it, something that should be stopped. I don’t blame that the rest don’t see it that way (brainwashing is usually effective, and to believe there is some glory to it is one way to survive), but I love that Spartacus never caves into the delusion. It’s unique to this version, IMO - the fact that those who the revolt eventually frees do not realize that they should be liberated, not at the start. In every other version I’ve come across, all the slaves are totally ready to be rid of their shackles, they just don’t have the means. But here, Spartacus has to work not just on the means, but on the slaves’ minds as well - I find it so realistic. In a way, you have to buy into the system or else you’ll go mad, so they all do. Except for Spartacus.

Things I want - for Spartacus to kill Ilythyia. Throw in Glaber, while we are at it. Things I do not want - for Ilythyia to treat Crixus as a fuck toy in front of Naevia. That was bugfuck disturbing and wrong, I thought we had words about ceasing the noncon, show? Now I am going to have to scrub my brain with bleach. I mean, I know I like my OTPs screwed up, but there are limits.

Did this show just kill an an angelic blond child? Because Batiatus ordered it? This is seriously the most disturbing, no-prisoners show ever. Must distract self. Distraaaaaaaact!

I have no words no words no words no words omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg!!!! I guess that is the answer to Spartacus’ question whether Crixus fights for anything other than the glory of the arena - he fights for the hope of being with Naevia, for her. OMFG OMFG OMFG! Also, in your face, Lucretia! I couldn’t believe he managed to get out of sexing the Roman Medusa, and I am sure it’s short lived reprieve, but for now - in your face!!!!!!!!! This show has reduced me to a five-year old apparently. But OMG you guys, my amazing amazing OTP!

*chants to self* “He is a historical person, he cannot die yet, he cannot die yet, he cannot die yet.” Who am I kidding, I am freaking out as badly as Naevia. But the way he keeps looking at her throughout - at the start, when he thinks he won, and at the end - my heart!!!!

That was beyond incredible…Ep 5 is the best yet. But are you sure you want to teach Spartacus and Crixus teamwork, Romans? I’m just sayin’.

I want to end Batiatus.

This show is written specifically for me.

If you think I am surprised Batiatus had Sura killed, think again. I wasn’t even surprised. DIIIIIIEEEE! The contrast between their first interactions (we never see Spartacus happy except in flashback, do we?) and their reunion - OMFG thanks for stomping on bits of heart ep 6 left me, show.

Varro’s wife is so tiny and pretty and loves him so much and they have an adorable blond kid and and…Varro is so going to die, isn’t he? I know how this show works. Every time someone gets a minute of happiness, something appalling happens. It’s written by a sadist, surely. Oh, and the look on Spartacus’ face as he sees his friend actually able to be with his wife, unlike himself - so much pain. I am going to need to watch My Little Pony on a loop once this show is done.

Well, that ended well. OTOH maybe he won’t die now, as he got his doze of misery? This show is making me crazy.

In the middle of all the misery, these two make me so happy…

I really love Spartacus in this episode - he grieves, he is angry, he is shattered - but he is still full of purpose and will and integrity. When he tells Batiatus that Pietros’ life had worth and Batiatus doesn’t even get it (because Spartacus’ idea that a person’s life has worth, slave or not, just because they are a human being, is so alien to him) - my heart! And he wishes he died in the Arena (when he told Crixus he wishes he killed him in the Arena - my heart. Because that way he wouldn’t have known his wife was dead) but not even the depths of his heartbreak will stop him from going on. Batiatus is an idiot. He killed Sura and that was the only carrot he could dangle in front of Spartacus - would else could ever contain him. A man full of rage and understanding of injustice, with nothing to live for and an iron will - you cannot stop him.

At the end of ep 7, Spartacus kills his old self, metaphorically speaking, and it’s horrible but not as horrible as it could be because I know he never does become a true Roman slave (hello, legendary rebellion!). It’s a dysfunctional coping mechanism, just as his belief in Gods and higher path that he decides to follow, as the one last thing left of his wife, but whatever gets him through to fight and live.

I have no idea how Crixus and Naevia manage to stay so functional (and right) together in such an utterly dysfunctional situation, but they are seriously the happiest, sanest thing about this show. Please don’t hurt them (worse) writers, please!

Ummm, I want Spartacus to win but I don’t want Crixus to lose? Dilemmas?

Things I want for my birthday - Ilythiya’s head on a platter. Pretty please? Though it says something about how messed up this show is that I was relieved she was cutting him and not having sex with him.

Only in this show would it be a proof of love for Naevia to ask Crixus to give Lucretia some exceptional sex so she could convince her husband not to sell him. (And proof of love that he didn’t want to). But then of course she gets to watch. Jesus H.

I am beyond obsessed...

I love love love Spartacus and Varro's bromance. Varro is the only person who gets underneath the walls and the mask to the real person beneath. I want them to take on Romans together.

I think I could really love the relationship between Spartacus and Mira - not a romantic one, as it's clear that Spartacus will only ever love his wife, but I want the two of them to find some measure of comfort in each other - they both come from such dark places, both are so powerless as chattels, both burned out souls - I want them to find some solace with each other, even if it won't be love. And oh, when he told Mira he won't sleep with a woman who was ordered - I love you, love you, love you! No matter the dehumanizing horrors of this world, he refuses to follow.

These two, so desperate for each other and trying to sneak any time together they can, even if they can’t really be together due to the bars and everything - and how giddy they are with each other (and the adoring way he looks at her) are pretty much my perfect OTP. It’s been years since I’ve shipped a non-kdrama OTP this much. Years!

Crixus sees Naevia flirting with a guard and nearly loses his mind. You know, he is not really the sharpest tool in the shed and he is so alpha it interferes with his common sense sometimes, but he loves her so ridiculously much and is so utterly sweet and adoring with her, and needs her so much, that I melt. He has no filters where she is concerned.

“You are my heart. I will never doubt the beating of it again.” I think I have officially died. Crixus/Naevia have slain me. (That line, btw, was in response to her demand for an apology - when he was so jealous, she reacted by producing the key she stole from the guard (hence the flirting) and demanded he apologize. OMG I ship them like a madwoman.)

You like happy things? Enjoy it, you won't get many.

He is dead, isn’t he? I know how this show works. Now that he found his wife again and told her that he will love the child of her rape as his own because it is her child, if she lets him, and they are so happy and amazing together, he is going to die. I can tell. Especially since he is Spartacus’ sole friend. Fuuuuuck! Don’t die!!!!

I knew it! I knew it! They were happy for a whole episode, which is not allowed under this show's rules! Of course creeptastic horrible Asher, who hates Crixus and is super-evil by nature, has seen them. Fuuuuuuuck! *peering through my fingers now* In case you are wondering, I am watching this ep slowly for my sanity.

Of course. It's supposed to be an exhibition bout, but horrifying little monster Numerius declares he wants otherwise, and Spartacus is ordered to execute his only friend. And he refuses and seeing that he is about to be killed for it (and the horror is that Varro's life won't be saved by it, as both he and Varro know), Varro runs his own neck into Spartacus' sword, telling him to take care of his wife and child. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I didn’t think anything as horrible as ‘reunion’ with Sura could happen to Spartacus again. I was wrong. I am fucking bawling. I really should have bailed on this show, it’s like hitting your head with a hammer over and over and over and fucking over. But OMFG, Spartacus would have died rather than do it and Varro took the choice of of Spartacus’ hands and fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I want little Numerius and the rest of these monsters to die painfully and bloodily and slowly.

I will love Mira forever for being there for him then. And with that, no more Spartacus for the day for me. I need to recover. Also, Andy Whitfield is beyond amazing.

Crixus/Naevia 4evah!

This was pretty awful, especially when he had to face Aurelia (and he is going to give all his money to her OMG). But you know what struck me - Oenomaus is all ‘he died a gladiator blah blah blah’ (and Batiatus later echoes it) but Spartacus rejects that way of thinking - and he sees him as a husband/father/friend - not the role imposed by the Romans but the one picked of free choice. I think what makes him exceptional is not his rage or his battle skills or even his will - but it is his ability to see outside the paradigm, the way nobody else in this show, Roman or slave, does.

When Naevia asks him how he can be so sure he won’t be killed in the Primus: “Because I would never leave your side. Death itself will tremble if it tries to part us.” Crixus/Naevia - being more awesome than your OTP since 1st century BC.

OK, please don’t tell me it’s some kind of symbolic foreshadowing that when Crixus looks for her at the pulvenus, she is not there…*tears out hair* *will soon be bald*

“I am myself again.” I screamed. I literally screamed. He has found out the truth about Sura. Oh, Batiatus, prepare to die. Rome, prepare to burn. YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Not related whatsoever, but as I believe they are done with the childhood portion, I plan to start The Incarnation of Money tomorrow...

Oh God oh God oh God, Ashur just asked Batiatus for Naevia’s sexual services as a reward for helping to frame and kill Salonius. Because he knows Crixus lives for Naevia and he hates Crixus and wants to torture him. And Crixus IS going to lose his mind. And Naevia will be forced to sleep with someone she cannot stand. (I didn’t realize right away btw that she was a virgin before Crixus and that everyone in the household was aware of her ‘virgin’ status - does that mean that if somehow, by some miracle, Crixus and Naevia keep it together, Ashur could still be ‘she is not a virgin, let’s investigate’ and cause trouble that way?)

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck this is where it goes to hell, isn’t it? This is the last happy moment they will have or similar? Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I can’t watch help help help.

I am terrified, somebody hold me. This is my last remaining OTP on this show oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Enjoy it, as not much happiness in this ep...

This is here because he’s so gorgeous, he takes my breath away…

I know I posted this already, but they are so perfect and so doomed, I can't help it. Now that Asher asked for Naevia for himself, it is the end.

I think I wanted to throw up here. But then Naevia was the only “good” character who escaped being forced into sex, and I suppose it wasn’t going to stay that way. Umm, as of now, the list of characters who were forced to have sex against their will is: Spartacus, Sura, Mira, Crixus, Naevia, Aurelia, Melitta, Pietros, Gannicus, Varro, Diona. And that’s going only with characters who have names. That’s pretty much the entire cast of characters who are not bad guys. Yikes. OK, I guess Oenomaus remains the sole hold out.

I love his determination and I love even more how clearly he sees the fake glory for what it is - when he tells Crixus there is no glory, just blood, I wanted to cheer. Only it was the middle of the night, so no cheering. God, he is amazing. And the fact that his love for his wife fuels him to take on Rome - no words. No words. (Yes, he fights for righteousness too, but it’s his love for his wife that starts him).

Ummm, Crixus just found out that Naevia has been given to someone else and Lucretia still wants some fun rapey times. And I am still sitting here chewing my fingernails and going “please don’t get worse, please don’t get worse.” Because that's the one constant with this show - things always get worse.

He kills me. He utterly kills me. The way he shelves his revenge, the way he kneels to Glaber, the man who ruined his life and his wife’s life, (and after taking out all those legionnaires unarmed, like the BAMF he is). All for Aurelia, because she is Varro’s wife and he promised Varro. Oh my God. My crush is unhealthy but he is beyond amazing.

Ashur paws Naevia in front of Crixus to get a reaction and their relationship is out and OMFG. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod…I think my hair has gone grey by now. But I am almost relieved it’s out because now I don’t have to anticipate it. Ashur is so evil it’s almost an art form, I must admit.

I know I keep saying it, but oh my holy God oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhh. I am curled up in a ball whimpering and this is typed by my ghost. Especially when he cries when she holds him!!!! God. Also, he promises to win his freedom and find her - yeah, that worked out so well for Spartacus. Or Barca. Here is a better idea, Crixus - how about you kill a whole ton of Romans and then find Naevia that way? Maybe you can bond and work out your trauma by killing Romans together? Or she can be your Roman-killing muse? I am not picky.

Rebellion is coming. Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I continue to find Spartacus/Mira interesting and root for it without shipping it in the least - does it make sense? It’s clear he only loves his wife (I mean, they talk about her in this scene! And he says “she was the sun. Never to rise again.” OMFG) and she asks for sex as the closest she can get to that feeling, but I guess it’s the idea of two damaged people finding some measure of comfort, however small, with each other, that appeals to me.

Spartacus and Crixus are having a moment. :P Joking aside, finally, finally, finally! Yessss! I waited for this the whole season! For them to get each other and come to a respect and an understanding of each other, even if not common goals! I loved it when Crixus asked Spartacus to find and free Naevia if he falls and Spartacus asked Crixus to kill Batiatus if he dies. Please please please be the beginning of a beautiful bromance! I need one, since Spartacus-Varro is RIP.

I am going to special hell, but I think I could ship this. A lot. It’s the way he is so unwaveringly protective and gentle with her, even as she hates him and wishes for his death. We never see him gentle any more. I know it’s because she is Varro’s wife, but I am sorry, I can’t help it. I am going to hell.

Lucretia tells Crixus she is pregnant and that she thinks it's his and he responds: “I have often dreamt, in quiet moments, of having a child. With Naevia.” !!!!!!!! Win win win win forever at the look on her face! I mean, who would have guessed that if you repeatedly rape a man, beat up and sell his OTP God knows where, get him whipped, and treat him like a thing etc etc, he might prefer someone else! OMG, I would have never thought of it! Ever! Shocking.

“Kill them all!” I may have screamed. A lot. Go Spartacus and Crixus, take them all out!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Crixus convinced Oenomaus to join them - OMFG my heart! By appealing to his sense of honor. You know, between that and inciting his followers to join the rebellion, Spartacus' getting Crixus on his side is about the best thing that could happen.

Ahhhh, I am a bad bad person but I cheered to see the slaves finally free and wreaking revenge, richly deserved.

This scene between Crixus and Lucretia was pretty much perfection. I don't know whether I love more that all he wants to know is where Naevia is or that he tells her he would rather any child of his was dead than be hers and stabs her. Finally! I wanted him to do it to avenge Naevia and himself for episodes and episodes and episodes. That was SO satisfying.

"What did you know of the man? That he would sing to his child, sleeping in his arms, or kiss the tears from my cheek, when I was of a mood? Did you know the father, the husband? He was not a perfect man, but he was mine. HE WAS MINE! HE WAS MINE! HE WAS MINE! HE WAS MINE!" And tiny, doll-like, gentle Aurelia avenges Varro on that sociopath Numerius. This is the single most satisfying moment of justice in the whole fucking show. Better than Crixus stabbing Lucretia. Better than Spartacus decapitating Batiatus. OMFG no words. (I also love how gently Spartacus holds her once Numerius is dead).

When Spartacus finally ends Batiatus, mimicking the man's words about Sura back at him - I clapped. I literally clapped. This finale is SO satisfying. And seeing Batiatus and Lucretia weltering in the pool of their own blood = priceless.

"I have done this thing because it is just. Blood demands blood. We have lived and lost at the whims of our masters for too long. I would not have it so. I would not see the passing of a brother, for the purpose of sport. I would not see another heart ripped from a chest, or breath forfeit for no cause. I know not all of you wish this, yet it is done. It is done. Your lives are your own. Forge your own path, or join with us, and together we shall see Rome tremble."

I love that this is the last image we see.

Btw, have an awesome Crixus/Naevia MV for S1 only:

This is going on my Top 5 Western shows ever. And now on to season 2! Though I am not sure how I will cope with Liam McIntyre replacing Andy Whitfield - AW was on fire in the role (every time I think of what happened to him, I feel beyond horrible).

I am finding it hard to adjust to Liam McIntyre in the role - he is a goodlooking guy and he acts well, but he doesn't have the tormented, burning intensity Andy Whitfield brought to the role. I am sure I will get used to it eventually. Meanwhile, without a Spartacus crush to compete with it, my Crixus crush is raging utterly out of control. It's kinda embarrassing, actually... :) But the way he is so utterly dedicated to finding Naevia no matter what and lives just for that kills me. Apparently Naevia has been sold as a traveling whore to be taken to various estates to be raped in exchange for favors ?!?! I hope Batiatus and Luctetia rot in hell forever. It's interesting that other than being even more determined to find her and hating Batiatus family even worse, it doesn't give him one second of hesitation, quite different from the traditional gender norms on womanly virtue (remember Varro needing time to process Aurelia being raped and rejecting it at first?) But then whatever cultural mores about purity may be, if you are slave without choice, they are moot - if anyone would know about being forced into sex against your will, it's Crixus and Batiatus slaves. Anyway, please please please let him find her and let their reunion go better than Spartacus/Sura. I also love the prickly friendship he and Spartacus have going now. They have each other's back but also totally lock horns on occasion.

I liked the sibling relationship he had going with Aurelia, so of course it ended so horrifyingly.

The moment where Spartacus saw Aurelia about to be executed and his eyes - that was the moment I realized I am going to be OK with Liam McIntyre as Spartacus after all.

I continue the odd position of not shipping Mira/Spartacus yet liking them comforting each other.

I also love that Spartacus does tend to lose control around the mention of Glaber (when Crixus is your voice of caution, you know you are in trouble). I do not love that Lucretia is still alive - a gut wound like that with no medical attention = you are dead.

Yes, in the middle of my Spartacus binge, I managed to read some romance books and this was a fun batch!

Gena Showalter, The Darkest Night - EEEEEEEEE! So good! The first in the Lords of the Underworld series, our heroine Ashlyn has been born with a special ability to be able to hear all the conversations that ever took place in any place she is at. This ability is slowly driving her mad, until her paths cross with Maddox, ~~my book boyfriend~~, one of the members of the Lords of the Underworld. Long ago, the Lords were warriors who stole Pandora's box and unwittingly released demons into the world. They were punished by each having to house a particular demon inside them, which does not sound like much fun. It is very little fun for Maddox, who houses the demon of Violence, and has to work very hard not to let him take over. That's the least of his problems, however, as he is also punished by having to be stabbed to death repeatedly every night and carted off to hell for torture only to wake up alive in his bed every morning (long story why but poor hot dude doesn't deserve it). Short version = his life super sucks. Anyway, Ashlyn and Maddox meet and are madly drawn to each other, but there are his curses, her voices, and an evil organization that wants the Lords destroyed and Ashlyn captured. Angst hot sex scenes angst h/c extravaganza angst longing angst lovers dying for each other delicious angst!

Gena Showalter, The Darkest Kiss - this one was kinda blah tbh. I liked Lucien, the Lord of Death and Anya, the Minor Goddess of Anarchy (LOL - she reminds me of Buffy's Anya, I wonder if it's an homage) but I never really got invested in them or the story. I was all about Reyes/Danika (luckily the third book is theirs and I am about to binge) and Paris (thank God I read Paris' book out of order because otherwise I'd be tearing my hair out. That angst was soooooooooo good!)

Sarah MacLean, One Good Earl Deserves a Lover - despite the appallingly punning title and a heroine who starts out the very definition of TSTL (she seeks out the hero because she is going to be arrange-married in two weeks, doesn't have enough sex information, and ask him for tutoring - only in theory of sex, not practicing. WTF!!!!!), this was rather cute. The hero is a rare combo of both tortured and fuctional/nice, the heroine recovers from her idiotic bizarreness quickly, and they are rather desperately sweet together. I prefer the first book in the series, A Rogue By Any Other Name though. And I am dying for the third book in the series.

Mary Jo Putney, No Longer a Gentleman - I am currently reading it and love love love love this one as it's pretty much one giant h/c fic, and you know my tastes! Our hero is an English aristocrat who has spent the last decade mouldering in solitary confinement in a French dungeon (he slept with the wrong woman as a young idiot and paid a really steep price). But now the agent-extraordinaire, Cassandra Renard, has come to rescue him. Now they must both get to England while being chased by evil evil evvvvvvvilllll French dude. Greydon Sommers used to be the proverbial golden boy - charming, popular, good-looking - everything came easily to him. The man Cassandra finds is borderline feral, terrified of crowds, and desperate. Can you see how this appeals to me? Yeah, I bet you could. I confess I am all about the hero in this one - it took me a while to warm up to the heroine (though I did end up liking her immensely) but I loved the hero from page 1. I was looking forward to his reunion with his friends and family as much as I did to the romance.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 1 - which is all about how much it sucks to be Spartacus

Utterly confused yet excited? I think?

Gena Showalter, stop living in my id!

Spartacus Blood and Sand ep 2 - in which the Romans wage war against awesome hair

Article 1

And now I really am off to bed...

So, more books

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 3

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 4 - which maxes out my angst tolerance

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 5

I didn't need that heart anyway...

Spartacus: Blood and Sand eps 7-8

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 9

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 10 - it's official, there are cheerier mass murders than this show

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 11

peering through fingers in terror

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 12

Spartacus: Blood and Sand ep 13 - season finale

Spartacus: Vengeance - ep 1

Books, glorious romance books!