This was my favorite episode yet.
(Recap, caps and reactions on ep 6 of I Miss You)
Somehow, the fact that he runs after her so gracelessly, throwing his whole body into it, really gets me. And he catches up to her, desperate and wild-eyed and she looks at him in blank incomprehension, and their chemistry is insane, off-the-chart, Mousie's-heart-is-won-forever kind. And you can't tell what is rain and what is tears on his face, only somehow you can. And then his coworker runs after him, calling his name, and you can see Soo Yeon not really processing the name (I am going to refer to her as Zoe from now on) at the same time as Jung Woo registers her seeming lack of reaction and his sanity also seems to return (how many times must he have done it before) and he lets go of her hand and I want to cry. You know what this reminds me of a lot? Modern day Chuno - with a former couple who separated after traumatic circumstances and the man became something else entirely, shaped by the trauma and looking for her and didn't recognize her at first and she moved on. Only please please please let this not be another Chuno, let her love him back. I know this sounds hackneyed, but he needs her. He needs her to function.
And we see Hyung Joon and Zoe and the unhealthy underpinning of their dynamic becomes apparent. Not because he lords it over her (he doesn't) but because she is so desperately eager to hang on to him and please him and the power dynamic is just not healthy...They are not equals. It's her abandonment and trauma causing this. Also, Yoon Eun Hye's face - that perfect comedienne's face - who knew it could hold so much vulnerability and fragility. You get the sense this woman is functional only by the skin of her teeth. No matter the surface, you always sense the uncertain void underneath.
She talks about almost being arrested by the police and oh, the dark dark undercurrents under both her and Hyung Joon's seeming nonchalance and normalcy. This could almost be a jdrama.
OK, this is a first. I am bawling during a kdrama shower scene. This was awful. Especially when he put his hands over his ears to keep her voice in. Or when he was looking at pictures and pictures of her. Seriously. I was all ready to make jokes about wanting to comfort him with my body blah blah but I honestly can't. Stop breaking my heart, Jung Woo! I do love that his partner understands and shies away everyone else.
Soo Yeon's Mom is awesome and buying new clothes for him, and getting the most expensive thing but faking it's cheap so he'd take it, and just - group hug, guys! YESSSS!
Jung Woo and Hyung Joon talk on the phone - I am pretty sure Hyung Joon knows who Jung Woo is vis-a-vis Soo Yeon, but we'll see.
Bwahahahaha I think Jung Woo's partner just assumed Jung Woo has a guy and accuses him of cheating. LOLOL. I treasure every bit of lightness in this drama the way one would water in the desert.
Zoe still does multiplication tables backwards to calm herself. I guess her connection with Jung Woo never truly got severed.
So, apparently she and Hyung Joon aren't lovers, seeing she invites him for platonic sleepovers. I honestly think it's because she's too damaged to think of a man that way (as she says, she is good at suppressing memories she doesn't want to have).
Yup, he still keeps his pen in his mouth. I love those little touches.
Jung Woo interviewing his father's secretary and later his stepmother in connection with Nurse's death. It's a small (melodrama) world. When he tells his stepmom: "If you get arrested, you will have to see me daily" (his stepmom can't stand the sight of him) with a little smirk - it's totally teenage Jung Woo peeking through. I can so see that. The casting is perfect.
Only his half-sister is glad to see him (their teasing is adorable). May I reiterate that I want his whole family, minus the half-sister, eaten by sharks? Slowly?
Zoe doesn't want Jung Woo in her and Hyung Joon's house to investigate. And then she hears his full name. But of course she thinks he abandoned her, never looked for her and he threatens, by his mere presence, to bring back worst memories of her life, so I can't blame her. And this is borne out because she repeats his name, looking as if she is about to shatter in a million pieces only for him to hear her say his name and stare at her transfixed. And he walks towards her as she stands still, which is all sorts of symbolic but mainly I am busy hyperventilating at their insane, out-of-this-world chemistry.
And he pretty much loses it, demanding to know who she is and for her to say his name again. You know, just as well it's Soo Yeon because if it was some random woman, she'd probably think he is a lunatic.
During the conversation with Hyung Joon, who shows up interrupting the scene, Jung Woo just keeps staring at Zoe's back.
And Hyung Joon claims Zoe is his fiancee and Jung Woo's face! And the fact that Zoe pauses in her cutting of the bread. Seriously, those little things are made so intense I can hardly breathe. Especially with Jung Woo and Hyung Joon doing the face-off of death. And then Jung Woo (who turns single-mindedness into an art form) tells Hyung Joon he'd like to talk to his fiancee and HJ says no and then Zoe comes up, cuddles up to HJ and says "it won't work for me either. I like Harry [HJ's English name] the most." And ohhhh, Jung Woo's face. You know the cliche phrase "it hurts so good." It must have been invented for this drama. And Jung Woo still persists, going "one moment" but as Zoe turns to him asking wearily "what is it this time?", and he looks to her hand on Hyung Joon's shoulder (I get the sense Zoe is drawing her strength this way), he pauses and says he is sorry. And that he will show her something interesting instead. He tears off the button from his expensive jacket (nooooooooo!!!!!!!) and plops it into the water glass, showing Zoe the water guessing game she taught him years ago. And he asks Zoe how she knew this game. But she avoids answering and Hyung Joon blocks Jung Woo from following her. My heaaaart! It's like I am an emotional vampire and today is my feast day!
The bit with him drunk and picking up a phone call and asking if the caller is Soo Yeon with this goofy grin on his face. I know I keep saying it, but my heart :(
The drunken bit where his coworkers pretend the restaurant is a karaoke bar and he is so drunk he goes along with it, LOL. As I said, in this drama, take your tiny moments of non-despair where you can get them.
It's official, Jung Woo is a masochist, as he goes to the warehouse where he and Soo Yeon were kept. Poor guy, he has no life at all - his life got destroyed too.
The next morning the rapist is released from prison, but Jung Woo's partner handcuffs him (to the partner himself) so Jung Woo cannot run there and commit murder and Jung Woo is trapped and surely it is wrong to root for someone to commit murder, especially if it will end his life...but there it is.
And he tells his partner he is going crazy because "that woman" (Zoe) looks like Soo Yeon and sounds like Soo Yeon. My heart!!!!!!
Only in kdrama world would Zoe and Hyung Joon's car accidentally hit the rapist. According to kdramas, there must be only 15 people living in Seoul. Zoe sees who it is and goes into shock.
And when Hyung Joon tries to touch her, she flinches and sobs this little strangled sob of pure terror and seriously, there are more cheerful funerals than this drama.
And then he takes her home and she locks herself in the shower, still fully dressed, still sobbing, as he is desperately knocking on the door for her to let him in. You know, has NONE of these people heard of therapy? It would do them all a world of good.
He breaks in and wraps her in a towel and she starts screaming and he holds her and...OK, so I can continue with this post, I am just going to say that everyone in this drama loves to shower clothed.
This is intercut with Jung Woo in the car, all hollow and defeated, wondering if he will ever find Soo Yeon. He says "I look at her pictures every day but she doesn't even remember my face. So I miss her even more."
Deathwish rapist calls Jung Woo from his house and refers to Eun Joo. Clearly a deathwish. And he catches Jung Woo by surprise and hits him but the tables turn quickly. And then the rapist says Soo Yeon didn't die and if Jung Woo kills him, he will never find out. Kill him anyway, Jung Woo! Rapist takes Jung Woo off-guard and proceeds to beat him up. Eun Joo's appearance ends this but rapist says he'll come back. Jung Woo is barely conscious but he still grins at Eun Joo and says rapist said he knows where Soo Yeon is. How about you stop the bleeding first, priorities! He is beaten up and shaking but grinning. God, I wish I could reach into the screen and drag him to a shrink by force!
I just love the brief moment of peace.
Soo Yeon's Mom is freaking out because Jung Woo is hurt and yells to stop this, she doesn't even miss Soo Yeon.
Rapist calls Zoe doing the whole "I am in pain from the accident" thing and she flips. She just pulled herself together. And then rapist just gets killed. My money is on Zoe. Mainly because of that little flash-forward insert they keep showing where Jung Woo runs to her and she has blood on her hands and they try to get away from the cops. Good riddance, say I! Also, she is currently wearing the same black gloves as the killer.
Jung Woo is on the swings, thinking of Soo Yeon - their roles have been reversed - he is the waiting one now.
And he takes off at a run and finds her about to drive to her house and stops her and begs her, begs her to say his name just once. And it's made clear that he knows she is Soo Yeon and also knows she doesn't want to tell him she is (or maybe not, maybe he thinks she isn't but too desperate to cope) and just they are so dysfunctional and yet somehow they need each other. I can't tell (and I am sure he can't either) how love, guilt, loss and everything else is mixed up in him, but it's created a feeling that nobody else can compare with. And she says his name and he asks her to do it again and he keeps asking, and he turns away from her, covering his eyes, so as to make his feeling she is Soo Yeon more complete and then he turns to her, whispering, 'Soo Yeon?' and the evil evil drama makers end there.
People watch dramas for all sorts of different reasons, but I watch them to feel, to be deeply immersed. And IMY makes me feel intensely, makes me drown in its mood, makes me empathize with its broken characters. Some of the plot mechanics may be creaky (Hyung Joon and Zoe just accidentally run across the rapist, really?) but it ultimately doesn't matter because at the core of it all is emotional truth. Overall, this drama reminds me very much of a jdrama - with its darkness and fractured characters. It's like a more healthy (not that this is saying much) Byakuyakou. And the actors are knocking it out of the park.